This is the precious journal my mom, Mother Teresa, to me, gave me after Raja and I got married.
It is full of her heart cries that had rung in the 24 years of raising me, her oldest of 5.
The woman is an incredible woman.
I am humbled that I was mothered by one such as her.
She is beautiful, wise, bold, speaks her convictions (and lives by them) and puts her family above so many other things in life that would probably thrill her more, at times;)
Was it Spurgeon who said it this way…
“I cannot tell you how much I owe to the solemn word of my good mother”
|my mom and i…a few years ago;) shes a beauty|
I love my mom.
I have put her through her fair share of…well…perhaps heartache mixed with surprises mixed with joy;)
When I first came to India 6 years ago, it was hard for my dear momma.
And it got harder on my 3rd day being gone.
Poor mom received a dreaded phone call
“Can I speak with the parents of Jessica Cooksey” she heard on the other line.
They then proceeded to ask permission to perform emergency surgery on me (in India…which was another world in her eyes)
Long story short…I had an appendectomy here in India…didn’t get to speak to my mom until 2 days after surgery…and she had to sit and wait and pray from afar.
Then, I went back to India again, a year later.
She drove 6 hours to take me to the airport.
And I, ashamed to say, did not call her for the 2 weeks I was gone to let her know I had arrived safely.
(There was a reason…no phone…but I could have found a way if I really considered the aches and concerns of a mother’s heart…).
And as they years passed, and my heart to live and serve overseas expanded, we would process together and she would encourage me and ask good questions.
And as the years have passed and I have married and am living and serving full time in this distant land… I know her heart as gone thru many different cycles of rejoicing and mourning and interceding and longing.
As I have now entered motherhood myself.
13 months of it thus far.
I understand a fraction of what a mother of 26 years experiences.
And the heart seems to become more fragile as it feels, as a mother…
It is as though you are watching your heart beat and exist in another person,a smaller person, your child.
And you feel as though you cannot pray enough, dream enough, love enough.
For that child.
So as I live and love people, but on the other side of the world, I know it is hard for a mom who daily considered our needs greater than her own.
Just as her Savior called her to.
In that letter Paul wrote to the Philipians.
“Your attitude should be the same as that of (Him)…”
He, who considered Himself NOTHING
And lived as a Servant
And gave Himself over to DEATH
That is the attitude we are called to have.
And I can definitely say that is the way my mother lived among her husband and children.
And it has planted eternal seeds that I pray have fallen on 5 hearts of fertile soil.
So as I process and imagine what she has walked thru in raising me and sending me, I am tempted to feel sorrowful.
And I am tempted to apologize in some way.
For the physical distance at the moment.
That she had to travel to see us.
I see through eyes, hazy.
But then I read back thru “A Mother’s Treasures”
That journal she gave me.
To an entry that was written October 9th, 1996.
“We have been having a revival at (His House) this week. Last night you wanted to go so badly, but I had a girl scout meeting and Daddy was exhausted. But, he took you up there. When I got home from my meeting I asked you how was the kids program. You told me it was great- and that you gave your heart to (Him, the One with nail scarred hands who washes us with His blood)- you want Him to be the boss of your life. Oh Jessica, my heart is just bursting with excitement. I do believe that parents only real important goal is to raise their children in a home…so that they will claim their salvation…and we will all live together in eternity. You have begun a wonderful walk, Jessica…”
Those words speak of eternal Truth.
And they speak power.
And they make hazy eyes clear.
For they speak of what a mother and father’s ultimate purpose is: directing their children to their Eternal Father.
And those words speak of eternity, where all the sons and daughters will be together.
Where there will be no separation.
Where He will wipe away every tear and justice will roll down.
So when Redeemed Hearts experience temporal longing on earth…
The Blood that Redeemed them speaks softly.
Of Eternal Truths.
For this earth and its troubles are fading.
“All flesh is like grass”…”here today, gone tomorrow”
If that is true, and if His Message is True.
That there is a Blood that cleans.
That there is a Sacrifice that was made, before the foundation of the world, that puts an end to all our vain attempts of self sacrifice
Then what my mother prayed is true.
And she shows that “A Mother’s Treasures” are not of this world.
They are stored in Heaven.
Where moth and rust do not destroy.
Where thieves do not break in and steal.
She wrote a few years later on January 24th, 1999
“Many things down right scare me about the world today and we just want to shield you- but I know that we can’t always be there to shield you- but (The Eternal One and His angels) will, Jessica…stay the course and your eyes on Him, even when you stumble….”
Paul said it too
“Keep your eyes on (Him), the Author and Perfecter of our Faith…who for the JOY set before Him, endured the CROSS, suffered its shame”
We are told to keep our eyes on a suffering Servant, who came from above, and endured shame.
The same One whose attitude we are told to emulate.
Because it is true, what my dear momma wrote…
He will shield us.
He will never leave us nor forsake us.
What comfort that provides.
These words written decades ago by the hand of the woman from whom I came into the world…
As I look down at the ones entrusted to me.
And as my heart surely aches for loved ones at home,
I am reminded that I know the Truth that sets me free.
And many people in this world do not.
And to forsake eternal glory and hearts at stake for eternity
For the comfort of momentary, fleeting, and ephemeral experiences.
When you know the Truth that sets us free.
When you have been loved with the Love that casts out all fear.
What else do you do with this short life, than live it among thus who don’t know and haven’t tasted of it?
For they need to know.
I am thankful for my mother.
And these pages which hold years of love, prayers, tears, and longings for a daughter.
And I am thankful that I have a mother who prayed for me to live for eternal things with my eyes on the Eternal One.
So when we are tempted to long for earthly homes,
Her words point me to my heavenly home.
And His blood again washes me and brings my soul rest.
Mom, thanks for laboring for eternal purposes.
For, through that, you have taught me to labor for what is eternal.
And not for what is fleeting.
When others rejected paths you took as a mother, you trusted His voice, and walked on.
I love that and have learned so much in that.
You have led and loved me so well as my mother.
And now you love my husband and our children so well.
So all that to say,
This same woman had never left the shores of America.
Until Sep 30th, 2012.
A date which will live in fame (ity);)
Due to the courageous and venturesome presence of a younger sister, my mom came to India.
She and my dear Aunt Gerri braved the distance and joined us in India for 2 glorious weeks.
They did not come to be pampered.
Anything but, really.
After arriving in the capital at 11pm, they drove 6 hour through some tumultous terrain (with my dear husband) and reached our home at 5 am.
And they came just to love us.
And fill our home with laughter.
And oh, did we laugh.
So I shall leave you with some pictures from their time here.
It was epic indeed.
Gerri was the designated photojournalist;)
And captured some beautiful things.
P.S- can I just give Gerri Boyce a shoutout…if it werent for you…my momma would not have been able to make this journey;)
|mom, elliot, and i at 5 am when they first arrived…after 40 or so hours of travel?|
|mom loved on hadassah so well|
|aunt gerri found it appropriate that the Public Relations Dept and Psychiatry were in the same room|
|aunt gerri being measured for punjabi|
|we shopped for bangles…bangles…and more bangles|
|aunt gerri and i on a rickshaw;) best way to travel|
|dad and son eli;) in the coolest outfit ever;)|
|mom and hadassah before the bus incident;)|
|always laughing…at a roadside pottery stand|
|aunt gerri and hadassah…they loved eachother a lot and had a few adventures together. aunt gerri made hadassah promise to say every morning to adam “aunt gerri LOVES you”|
|mom and roni|
|eli in the same baby blanket i used to use;)|
|mom and gbabies|
|my mom makes some hysterical expressions.this was at the tailor to get fitted for a punjabi|
|my mom found it crazy that she was eating somewhere exotic enough to have buddhist monks behind her in line;)
WE LOVE YOU GUYS! Thanks for coming.