I had the privilege of meeting a new kindred spirit this past Christmas break. She was on furlough from living overseas visiting family here in PA. The first time I met her, she sat in front of me at bible study in ugg boots with a huge grin on her face as she listened intentionally to the woman sharing. I was intrigued by her as she seemed to just radiate light and peace.
She was indeed beautiful. And she just turned 92.
I tell you she encouraged me and spurred me on towards love and good deeds in more ways than I can say here. The last sunday she was here she stood up and said in front of the church “you all probably think that since I’m 92 and returning overseas, that I know what I am doing and that I must really know how to love people well. Well I don’t and I ask you to pray that the Father would teach me how to love like Him more every day”.
I was humbled and encouraged by her vulnerability and desire to be prayed for. I was encouraged by her courage in saying she needs the Father to love well. Basically, I felt like I was hanging out with Corrie Ten Boom when I was with this new friend.
Anyways, I emailed her a few days ago. You see, we found out recently that we need to find another rental house next year…either that or we need to buy a house. And we are kinda overwhelmed with how to make this decision. I feel like a 5 year old when making decisions like buying or renting a house. It just feels so beyond me. So Raja and I talk about it nearly every day. And we pray. We ask the boys to pray. And we keep doing our thing. We love our boys and care for the home in our care currently. We go to school and work. We buy groceries and we go on long walks. We fill our cars with gas and we visit with neighbors. As Elisabeth Elliot says, “just do the next thing”. So we have been doing the next things as we wait and pray and hope and save and trust.
I emailed my new friend about these thoughts and that I feel like we are two 5 year olds considering being home owners or home renters-again. She responded “yes, dear Jessica, it is ok to be a 5yr old. They are dependent on their parents for absolutely everything. So you are in a good place”.
Yes and Amen.
You see, it is hard for me to be like a 5 year old. Especially in America. Raj and I talk of this often. It is easier for him to walk by faith in the US than in India. Because the US is foreign and different and nothing is familiar. So he is forced quickly to look to the Lord to provide understanding and provision and purpose. In India, it is harder for Raja because he knows the ins and outs of life there and he feels pressure to make everything right. For me in India, it is easy to walk by faith in radical ways because NOTHING is easy there for me. But when I am here, I think more practically and I want to work and earn and provide my own way. However, it is not WHERE we are that matters, but WHOSE we are. And we are His so we can trust Him, no matter where we are.
I look at my boys, and I know that they don’t know where we are half the time (especially in these past 2 years of moving). But they do know their mom and dad loves them and will care for them. So I never see fret in their eyes. In the same way, may I be like a child (as He calls us to anyways) and trust the good Father to provide a clear path for us.
Dear one, may you be like a child this evening as well. May you trust the Father of Heavenly Lights. He is the giver of all good things. If He did not spare His own son, but graciously gave Him up for us all, how will He not also GRACIOUSLY GIVE US ALL THINGS? Be like a 5 year old and trust.