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Because I have been with Him

October 26, 2013

I journeyed by bicycle today with Elliot on my back.
Raja and Adam were sound asleep, so Elliot and I took off.
It was grand, indeed;)
We saw lots of beauty.
It surrounded us.
In rays of sun piercing thru blades of grass.

In marigold buckets overflowing all down the street.

In fields aglow atop of sea of green.
In fields of flowers plucked and placed in baskets

In watching hardworking women sift thru golden glory.

In setting sun piercing the darkness over rooftops.
Yet, in the midst of being surrounded by all of this glory, I found my mind and heart wandering.
Filled with questions and thoughts of comparison
I was not taking every thought captive
I was wondering what more could be done for the need that seems to palpate the dusty air.
I was wondering how I could meet the need.
I was letting the need drive me rather than His call.
I was struggling to have a spirit of contentment.
It was a battle, indeed.
Then I thought of a passage that had come to mind a few nights prior.
Two dear friends of ours were over for dinner and before they left, we bowed our heads.
We interceded
We praised Him.
And He brought to mind the 4th chapter of Acts.
“When they saw the courage of Peter and John and realized they were unschooled, ordinary men, they were astonished and they took note that these men had been with Him” (read it in it’s fullness HERE)
THAT is what I want.
When I think of myself or when people look at me
When they see “courage” or anything of goodness in me…
I want it not to be due to any credentials of my own
I want it not to be of any training of my own
I want it to not be of any goodness of my own
I want them to be ASTONISHED
I want them to take note that I have been with my Savior
I want my mind to be fixed on Him
And, therefore, I want people to be fixed on Him when they see me
I do not want my mind to be fixed on how to better myself
On how to be more like THAT person or THIS person
I do not want to be fixed on how to meet THAT need 
How to feed ALL those people
I want my mind to be fixed on Him
Because He is the source
From which it will all come
So, next time I glide thru all that glory on a bicycle with my precious son on my back
I pray that my mind will be fixed on Him 
And that it would not give in to envy, comparison, or bettering myself
I have been bettered and redeemed COMPLETELY
In Him
Through Him
  By Him
For Him.
It is finished.
He meets the need.
My existence is Him.
___________________________________________________________
Now for some captures of my goober of a son, Elliot and his many expressions;)

Filed Under: Life at the Raj Mahal, Temple Waters

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Wife to a shrink from the East.
Momma to 3 wild boys.
Nurse. Nomad. Friend.
Learning to live broken, yet brave.

Adam is a shadow chaser, high five giver, explorer, & overcomer. He joined our family thru adoption and has taught us a new way to see ever since. His unformed body revealed my unformed heart.
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My husband is a shrink turned seminarian who keeps me honest and laughing every day. We have 3 sons. We speak multiple languages but not clearly and we like dance parties but lack rhythm.
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