Alive and Well - WE: Unformed

It is nearly 2pm on this Thursday afternoon. I am slowly being awakened by a steaming cup o joe and the sound of our washer machine, whose spin cycle’s noises could compete with any Kansas twister or demolition of a building. Literally, I can hear the machine when I bike by our house outside.

But, this is the year of JOY. And JOY is something we CHOOSE. So I am choosing to find some JOY in that deafening, strident machine.

Number 1: it is from a washer MACHINE. The fact that we even own one of those is a gift in this nation. When Adam was first born, we did not have a washing machine. Nor did we have diapers (it was rural, people). So there was lots of self made diapers and hand washing those days in Assam;) Now we have a boisterous machine, but alas, it does all the hard work…and simply feels the need to yelp and squawk while it works;)

(sidenote: just as I begin to write “Number 1, Joy”, the doorbell rings and the washer machine repair man is here! Just a reminder that finding Joy brings incredible reward;) )

Number 2: my boys ability to sleep thru anything is certainly a perk. Sleeping in this country and all it’s noises, plus the alarming sound of a faulty washer machine, has made Paulraj baby sleep equivalent to general anesthesia. Nothing can wake those boys before they are ready. And that is certainly something to be thankful for;)

So, as I write, the machine is being repaired. Let us give thanks;)

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Anyways, I have been a bit quiet here on the blog the last 2-3 weeks. I will share with you in a bit as to why…for it has certainly been a full few weeks.

In the midst of the day to day and that battles therein, I battle with this urge to write. First, simply because I love to write. Writing is therapeutic and worshipful for me. But I also feel a strain to write…a pressure of sorts. Certainly not from any of you, readers, but from myself. I watch others crank out updates and blogs and gorgeous photographs so regularly.

And this jealous heart is tempted to compare myself to them and envy their routine and ability to keep their sites up to date. And two problems result…

1. I harbor jealousy in my heart which is a bestower of darkness and dark thoughts. We need Light to dwell in this heart.

2. Instead of being encouraged and appreciating the writings of those regular writers/bloggers/mamas…I envy and the process, harm both me and them.

Eleanor said it best (Eleanor Roosevelt, that is, not Eleanor Duchess of Gloucester in case you thought such)

“Comparison is the THIEF of JOY”

And, we know that this year, I am choosing JOY. So I will not let any thief bear an entrance into my heart.

And I will find a soft spot for a bended knee each morning.

And I will ask Him.

I will seek His face.

And I will press into His heart.

Because He has written eternity on this mama’s heart (as well as the heart of all mankind)…and I want to focus on those eternal writings of HIS more than anything my feeble hands can attempt to create.

For, unless the Lord builds the house, it’s builders labor in vain.

(Two dear friends and I pleaded that verse on a rooftop in Delhi nearly 5 years ago, when we were working to create a sponsorship program for the children roofed beneath us. Because we knew any attempt on our own behalf would be, as David says, vanity.)

And when I look at this blog and the journey we have been on since it started, I want the Lord alone to build it. He certainly started it’s construction, for I could have never started it were it not for Him. I had never imagined that being a “blogger” would be something I would do. But I also never imagined Adam;) And when He brought us Adam and when we needed to share his story and share it fast, the gift of blogging was revealed to me.

And it has become such a gift

Blogging has become something beyond sharing surgery updates and fundraising news.

-Connected me to stories I would have not otherwise known

-Brought others into our journey that have blessed us beyond measure

-Invited thousands to pray for our boy, Adam, and our family

-Given me a place to share glimpses of Him throughout the monotonous days and the days when the battles seem to rage on and on

-Created a space for me to capture, freeze, and remember pieces of time that seem to race by in this momentary life.

But I write in vain if He is not the foundation and the builder and the maintainer.

So as I think back on the past 3 weeks and my lack of regularity here, I am thankful.

I am thankful because it has allowed me to reflect on how this blog should be. I cannot write in an effort of comparing myself to other writers. And I cannot write without His heart moving me. And I cannot even consider putting forth my own writings without His eternal Word perfusing my heart and mind each day.

So thanks for bearing with us in the ups and downs. It is a joy to journey with each of you thru this space on the web

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The past month has been quite full.

We traveled to Delhi to continue with adoption details for Adam’s adoption.

We did a domestic adoption for Adam, using Raja’s Indian citizenship.

So now that I have had custody of Adam, as a US citizen, for 2 years in India, I can apply for Adam’s US citizenship. This will be monumental in Adam’s future for many reasons.

It was a busy week with a few trips to the Embassy, but we stayed with dear friends who took such good care of us.
And a highlight of the week was visiting Asha Mission, the children’s home that is so dear to my heart.

rooftop where I lived a lot of life and laughs and tears;)

raja with some of the boys at Asha

Adam showing some love with Elliot was carsick

head kisses while we hung out 2 extra days in Delhi due to some logistical issues

long car rides;)

We came back from Delhi and had a few days of laughter and peace before Adam started battling a nasty case of viral conjunctivitis.

It was pretty bad.

He went nearly 3 days without opening his eyes and basically laid down all day long.

We ended up making the trip 6 hours to a Pediatric Ophthalmologist

We are glad we went because he gave us a lot of really great advice and cared for Adam well

Adam has gradually recovered and we followed up with the doctor a few days ago when he was in town

We are grateful to have found such a great resource for Adam’s eye care, especially when his eyes have been such a battle thus far.

She loves him so much. And vice versa;)

I am learning a lot raising these two little ones.

Adam and Raja in Eye Doc’s office

Adam is definitely a daddy’s boy these days, especially when sick

When Adam wasn’t asleep, he was on our backs or snuggled close

We celebrated Haddasah’s bday with a day of shopping, hair cut, and a party;)

20 years old!;)

Then we helped her get packed and ready to start a 5 month program with YWAM in a city a few hours from us;) Excited to see what is ahead for her. Hopeful in a God who is Faithful;) We miss her lots as she had been living here since Summer 2012, but we are so excited for her and have been getting great updates thus far;) Look at that smile!

Pit stop on the way home. Love this shot Raja captured.

We came back home after 4 days in the city with the Eye Doctor.

Adam continued to recover, Elliot continued to chase chickens and kiss every flower he saw (see pic).

Then our dear friends came to town;)

They had one goal: to refresh us.

And what a refreshment they have been;)

This boy started perking back up. We are so thankful he has eyes to see. What a gift sight surely is.

Then our sweet friends, Matt and Christina, came to town. Their goal? To love, encourage, and refresh us. It has been truly amazing to have them here these weeks.