Those 6 weeks were full of so much.
There was a constant seeping of hot water over pikes place coffee grounds as my mom made her smooth, rich blend of goodness for us all throughout the day.
There was dirt under nails and a patio flooded with water from a running hose (a phenomenon to Elliot who had been used to us giving him 1 bucket a day for the sake of saving the water in India).
There were movie nights with my dad as we caught up on cinematic wonders we have missed.
The bee hive business that my little brother and sister run beautifully provided entertainment for my wild man Elliot.
Elliot and his dad bonded over working in the garden and implementing Raja’s banana tree expertise.
The old suburban became a sandbox, of sorts, as our frequent beach visits took our minds off of the chaos and onto the beauty that our God spoke into existence…reminding us that if violent currents, crashing waves, and millions of grains of sand can be woven into stunning wonder that our lives can be woven into beauty and order too. Chaos is and will be beauty.
There were also days of dark, baggy eyes full of questions as Raja and I wondered where we should live, how long the 270,000 mile car would last, if Adam would tolerate the winter well…and SO many more questions.
But God has proved faithful and He has provided in abundance, as always. We have a house to live in, graciously offered from friends I have known since middle school. These wood floors echo the reality of 3 little men that Abba God has entrusted in our hands. The table is decorated with food each evening, reminding us that He who cares for the birds of the air cares for us as well. Our daily lives seem to sing an anthem of faithfulness and yet I seem to be tone deaf to the melody of His Truths. But He is steadying me and He is ever so patient with me as He sings these Truths over me again and again.
He whispers to me to write, so I can remember.
Write out the uncertainties and the needs…while I am still in the trenches.
-Do not just write after the storm passes.
-Write in the midst of the storms (so I can remember the sweat and the blood that seem to stain the pages of certain seasons of life)
-List out all that I know that we need…a list that seems insurmountable…list it out like George Mueller did…and then make a note next to it when God provides.
Because He will.
And because our weak minds tend to forget.
We can remember our paycheck amounts, our job titles, our degree names for years. We, or rather I, love to spat those off as if they offer some solutions to the daily questions that life brings up.
But when it comes to the miracle that is Him…we are so quick to forget His Name. When fears of the future arise, we want to run to how we can manage the problem or solve the issue.
We are so quick to rely on ourselves and what we can offer yet so quick to forget how He owns the cattle of a thousand hills, how He speaks Light into existence, and how He cares for each and every hair on our head.
He told me to write. But still I feared and I questioned so many things. I was too tired and too busy and my mind was just too full. I felt like I needed PTSD counseling in a way as I attempted to process what these past 3…5 years have held. So I held so many thoughts in.
But He continued to pursue and He has won.
A best friend sent me this journal last week with a note “keep writing and keep riding bicycles”. She knows my heart and He used her to call after me and my ransacked heart and constipated mind (let’s be honest…there is really no other word choice)
So I am going to ride and I am going to write…while in the trenches. I am not just going to wait until I am on the other side and look back at the rainbow of promise as Noah saw.
I am going to write in the midst of the flooding downpour of life…in the midst of the manure and the screeching birds packed in around me… I am going to write while we teeter back and forth in this temporary dwelling with raging storms around us.
Because I know my God and I know He is good.
He will be good 1 year from now when we are in a home for 5 years.
And He is good today in the midst of all that is temporary.
Because His goodness is not dependent on my understanding nor comfort.
His goodness is explicit and it is known.
So let us believe that He is good and His ways are good.
Many of you have asked how to pray for us and many of you have asked how to give.
We are meeting with a CPA in a few weeks to figure out a way to receive financial donations towards Adam’s medical needs. I will update you all after that meeting.
How can you pray? I will just specify Adam prayer needs right now.
-The winter can be brutal on a boy with a partially formed nose, a tracheostomy, and so many undiagnosed issues. We have already fought some sickness so far and it has been rough. Can you pray for his body to be sustained and upheld? Pray against infection and disease. Pray for wisdom for us in how to deal with challenges sickness may bring.
-We are trying to figure out insurance options for Adam. We are navigating confusing and unfamiliar waters. Pray that we can figure it all out and find the best coverage for him soon.
– Pray as I (Jessica) travel up to Philly in a few weeks to find housing options for our family. We will be living in a suburb outside Philly for at least 5 years and want to find a good housing option for that stretch of time. Pray I can find something suitable for Adam and his needs (ie: 1 story so he can get around easily) and for all the financial needs that arise when looking for housing options for a family with kids.
I will share more prayer needs next time.
Until then, much love friends.
Much love and thanksgiving;)