I truly apologize for not doing a better day by day update on Adam.
I will try to be better.
It is just that- often times we do not have good internet here at the hospital and then I it is not the top of my priority list when we get back to our “home” in the evenings…when there is food around a table, people to laugh with and reflect on the day with, and my husband to debrief with.
But…Adam is doing well.
Today is his first day off the vent. They are giving him a trial run and he is doing superb. His lungs are clearly not the problem. That is what we keep being told;)
The plan is to change out his trach tube on Friday morning and revise his leg surgery a little bit.
Then, he is most likely to transfer to the normal peds floor by the weekend sometime.
Please pray for his continued healing to help him transition easier.
The Word and prayer…that is where healing comes from. It is true;)
Good news I forgot to share here:
1. Adam’s corneas are both in excellent shape! That was positive news after surgery last week. Thank you for constantly remembering to pray for his eyes. I believe they are truly being heard!
2. Adam’s palate (in his mouth) is in good shape. They were suspecting needing to do a total palate repair after some time. But he has a large portion of it intact. There may not even be a need for further surgeries on the palate! Time will tell:)
Thank you so much for all of your prayers and encouragement.
Now for some reflections…
I feel as though growing up I always heard my mom, dad, and others around me being told “enjoy these moments…soon they will be old and grown…savor each moment with your children…they are soon to be off on their own with their own families…live each moment…”
Sound familiar?
And yes, from a carnal sense, these are all true.
Life changes. Seasons come and seasons go.
But it somehow creates this sense of sole importance on the children, at least in those 18 or so years.
And if each moment is not fully captured, experienced, remembered, then you have failed in some way.
At least, for me, it does.
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I look back at a season of 5 months that have quickly vanished.
5 months with our son.
Oh! How quickly they have passed.
Like a vapor in the wind.
But the vapor did not pass without leaving traces.
Traces of His glory.
Traces of His majesty.
Traces of His Father’s heart.
Traces of His desire for redemption and restoration.
Traces that foreshadow a day when He will make all things new.
Far be it from me that I only leave traces of myself, my husband, or my son.
For what has happened in and thru us is just a shadow.
A shadow of His majesty.
And traces of Majesty are all that will remain.
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When I first saw Adam in the little infant warmer bed in rural India, little did I know all that would soon be unveiled through his little life.
When Adam first moved into our home, little did I know how his life would ‘revolutionalize’ love and redemption in our hearts.
Do I remember every event enough? I do not know.
Our home was packed as we were preparing to move in just 4 weeks.
We had shipped nearly everything and had next to nothing available.
The first few nights, our expectant ears were listening for cries that did not come.
For this child had known only rejection and slander in his first days.
He had not come to trust in love.
< BUT aren’t I just the same?
How many days do I not trust in the love of my Father? The One Eternal?
So many days…>
But Adam soon knew and felt and reveled in love.
For the expectant cries came.
And loudly did they come!
For he knew his needs would be met. He knew when he cried, there was now an answer.
He knew Love was there for him.
By his newfound mother and father, yes.
But also by nursing students, doctors, and friends who would come daily to hold and sing to him.
By hundreds of family and friends across oceans who mailed in gifts and letters on his behalf.
But wasn’t it all just an earthly shadow of the love of One, Eternal?
Yes, I believe it was.
I believe each word of love by you and I, is being used by our Father to remind Adam he has a purpose.
His life has value.
And He was created, unformed and all, by an eternal Father who came to make “beauty from ashes”.
And he has blossomed under that Love.
How so?
By impossible becoming possible…
By cooing without a proper mouth
By laughing without a lip to frame the sound
By holding himself up and even crawling on fingers, webbed, and legs, fused together.
By seeing after 12 weeks of life with no eyelids to protect eyes, dry.
Things we deem impossible that Love has made possible.
That is how he has blossomed under Love.
Because Jesus makes all things new.
But oh, how these days have passed.
Solomon said it, “there is a time for everything, a season for every activity under heaven”
And I start to think about all those comments I have heard to “carpe diem” (“seize the day”)
And I panic.
Well, I did panic.
About 2 months ago when I saw how quickly his life was passing.
And as I knew, the anticipated fragility of his life, I panicked more.
And I started to think, “How do I seize this day? This moment? How do I love Adam enough today and remember EVERY memory enough and take enough pictures, etc, etc?”
I started to think of a convenient phrase, “Revel while you raise”.
It went to the beat of “Whistle while you work”
I thought I just needed to revel and glory in each moment with Adam while I raise him.
That must be the answer.
Then, His still small voice, interrupted that thought.
Do not believe that lie.
Do not revel and glory in man.
Glory in Me.
I am eternal.
Man fades and his life quickly comes and goes.
If I revel in man and seize every man moment, I will be disappointed.
Instead, I must revel in Calvary and in Love Eternal.
Revel in Him as I raise and love Adam.
For only His love can really love Adam.
My love ran dry after day 1.
Only His love remains.
And..
Raising children is not for the glory of Jessica.
Raising children is not for the glory of the children.
Raising children is for the glory of Abba Father, the King of Kings and Lord of Lords.
So, “Revel while you raise”
Yes.
That is my phrase.
But I will not revel and glory in my earthly family and place my hope in my son, husband, self, or children to come.
I will revel and glory in Redeeming Love.
And…He has gifted me with this precious son, Adam.
I will love him with all that He gives me to love him.
I will celebrate his life and treasure the moments I have with him, past, present, and future.
But that is not my end.
The chief end of my life is not my son.
It is Calvary and that God-man.
The chief end of man will either be in Him, or outside of Him.
May I be in Him, in grace.
So yes, these moments, they are fleeting.
We are here today and gone tomorrow.
All flesh is like grass.
Do not place your hope in it.
Yes, enjoy days with children and family.
But that is not our chief goal.
He, seated on High, is our chief goal.
May we revel and glorify Him as we raise the ones He gives us.
Flesh is fragile.
Children are fragile.
I see it more tangibly in my son.
For he has some pretty weighty diagnosis’ associated with his life.
But it does not change the Creator’s glory.
It does not change what was done on Calvary.
So I will revel in Him and His glory and His majesty today.
I will “revel while I raise”, in the majesty of Calvary love that came down and rescued me.
I will revel in the majesty of Calvary love that saw Adam, even in his unformed body, and designed a beautiful plan for his life that would far exceed any of our imaginations.
I will revel in the One who fills me with His Love each day to love husband, son, and others.
Revel in Him today, dear ones.
aaahhhh…thank you for this good word! He, alone, is worthy of all of our devotion!!!
Reading a post like this was worth the wait! Beautifully written and extremely thought provoking. Your little family of three has certainly changed my life for the better. It's easy to get lost in life and sit on the sidelines watching. Something about Adam's story lit a fire in me and now I feel like the song by Matthew West that says:
‘Cause just ok
Is not enough
Help me fight through the nothingness of life
I don’t wanna go through the motions
I don’t wanna go one more day
Without Your all consuming passion inside of me
I don’t wanna spend my whole life asking
What if I had given everything?'
I am so glad to read all of the good news! Of course I will continue to keep all of you in my prayers.
Instead of going through the motions
Thank you for the update. Your lives are such an inspiration to others. Still praying for you and your family. God bless you all.
Thanks for this post. I am always trying to cling to "the moment", especially those with my son, and feel I can never stay in it long enough, never enjoy it "enough". Thanks for the reminder that it's ok that this life flies by because God is eternal. I need to remind myself of this every day=)
So glad to hear the good news about Adam!
Praying for you all, Jessica! Thank you for keeping an up-to-date blog about baby Adam. It has helped me so much to know how to pray and to tell others about him. (yes this is your cousin Lydia)