on the journey back…

It is 1230am on Wednesday night here in Delhi, India.
Jet lagged we are. We 3 slept 6 hours this afternoon, and are therefore wide awake now.
The plane journey went well…so much favor from Him above was showered on us.
All is grace and for that we are thankful.
We had to check 9 bags and 90% of the costs were waived due to medical supplies, etc.
That is good.
He is good.

We are staying in a hotel in Delhi so I could see the OBGYN who is going to conduct our delivery.
That is right, for those of you who missed the announcement…Adam is going to have a baby brother this Sep!
Crazy, huh?
He is good.
All is grace.

The doctor visit went well and we are thankful for recommendations for this doctor.
We head back to HCH (our hospital) Friday morning and Raja goes back to work Monday.

So, during our flight over, I was again reminded of a fraction of all that He above has done.

-Providing an unexpected need of $100,000 from people, mostly unknown to us, so that our son could receive the care needed
-Opening a family, home, and church community to us in a city unfamiliar
-Providing eyelids to our son who had them not
-Allowing our son to eat by mouth through lips newly formed
-“Placing the lonely in families”, as the psalmist David writes. Taking an unnamed child with no family and giving him an inheritance of hundreds the globe over.
-The list is unending, but that is what filled my mind.

Often, the time that lapsed between each of those displays of His glory and faithfulness were difficult.
Oh so very difficult.
Lots of tears, sleepless nights, questions of Adam’s future, and such.
But He sustained and remained and provided each of those times.
Just as He provided Himself in the Rock that was struck in that desert parched, so water could come forth.
He provided Himself, thru His Spirit, on those nights in NC, Florida, and the highways stretched between.

But, “Often times God demonstrates His faithfulness in adversity by providing for us what we need to survive. He does not change our painful circumstances. He sustains us through them.” Charles Stanley

There were nights I wondered why He allowed our little bird to enter this world with such physical need and asked him endure the first few months of such difficulties.
And why did He place little bird in hands so unlearned in the ways of mothering and fathering. Why did He place little bird in the hands of two, who though long to be used by Him, their faith is seemingly smaller than a mustard seed at times?

Because…
“God is looking for people through whom He can do the impossible.
What a pity when we plan only the things we can do by ourselves.” -A.W. Tozer

Then I was thinking of the Israelites trekking thru the wilderness.
They had seen the fire by night and cloud by day.
They drank from the Rock that was struck when they were parched.
And so much more.
And the generations after that who walked astray at points.
And they were told to impress them (commandments, reminders of who their God was and what He asks for and what He has done) on your children. “Talk about them when you sit at home” and talk about them “when you walk along the road”.
Talk about them “When you lie down and when you get up.”
“Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. “
“Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates.”
Oh how that is true.
That we need to do each of those in order to refrain.
Refrain from what?
Refrain from forgetting, neglecting, ignoring, self exalting.
How often I forget.
I pray His grace upholds and fills my memory with Him and what He has done.

I long for my children, 2 now, to hear of what He has done and to remember, believe, and testify.
Two children.
Where did they come from?
So unexpected and I was and am scared.
I think of all those questions i had.
And I have many new ones for this second male child I am called to raise.
Can I do it?
How can I do it?
Will I have the energy? Creativity? Strength? Humility?
Most of all, how can I raise them to know Him.
I can’t, in the end, I guess.
He will change their hearts and bring them to Himself.
But how can I show them Who He is?
I read this and can completely relate to Ann Voskamp
“The mantle of motherhood can feel like the weight of a universe and raising a child is to be entrusted with a bit of eternity. Would I be fool enough to take the matter lightly? The charge of a small child is no small charge and you’ll have to charge the gates of heaven to hold back the forces of hell.”

“Charge the gates of heaven”.
For a small piece of eternity, 2 at that, are entrusted into our hands for a short time on earth.
And Heavenly love is all that will empower me.
So on my knees I shall go.
And I shall remind myself of His faithfulness in these 6 months past.
And the years before that.
I shall tell it to my children and we shall write it above our doorframe.
And I shall pray salvation over them and pray to live with vulnerability and grace among them.

And really, I am then reminded of, probably thousands, who charged the gates of Heaven on our firstborn’s behalf this past season.
And that charge came against the forces of hell and sustained a life that, probably thousands of articles and scholars, thought was unworthy and impossible.
And all is peace within me.
For all is grace that sustains me now, then, and forever more.
He was struck in that desert, dried and parched, so that His people could march on.
And I drink from His side now that was pierced on my behalf.
And I seek the gates of Heaven, where He sits now petitioning on my behalf until all things are new, to be opened no our little family and this nation we call home.
And I rest.
For He has done great things for us.
And we are filled with joy.