1 year & officially a PAULRAJ

Tonight we shall have a party.
I shall bake a cake.
And we shall celebrate.
Worship.
And reJOYce.
We almost overlooked it.

Amidst the piles of laundry.
and
The seeing of patients.
and
The bathing of babies.
and
The changing of dressings.
and
The making of food.
and
The cutting of vegetables.
We almost overlooked it.

But He reminded us.

Sometime this morning.
When I was beginning to feed Elliot.
Drinking reheated coffee…made extra strong to give this mom a little boost…
I looked down at Adam happily sitting on the floor as he listened to “The Night Before Christmas”.
Yes, he was listening.
As his mimi (maternal grandmother) and papa’s (maternal grandfather) voices stretched across oceans to remind their first grandbaby that he was loved.
(You know, he listens to those voices every day…and those of his uncles and aunts who recorded Mother Goose nursery rhymes for the boys to listen to…voices of a divinely orchestrated family…)
And amid all these happenings, it hit me.
November 1st, 2012.
1 year ago, Adam’s adoption was finalized.
1 year ago, he became our son.
We dig thru all the paperwork that we have accumulated in this short time of marriage….
And yes, it is true.
1 year ago today, exactly.

The impossible became possible.
The disbelievers were quieted.
And this anxious, doubting heart was a again put to silence.
And this once orphaned, was adopted.

I reread this, that I wrote in that season.
As I remembered all the questions I had as we made the decision to make Adam our own.
There were many.
And as diagnoses came.
And as discouragements came from people we loved.
And as setbacks came up that made adoption impossible, I reread these words.
And I am humbled.

And then I reread this, “Who’s a beta?”
And I see the certainty of his sonship.
It is unquestioned.
He is our son thru and thru.
Just as Elliot Justice is our son.
Our eldest is Adam Peniel.

It is certain.
We have 2 sons.
1 in a scandalous love affair called adoption, absent of stretch marks and labor pains.
and
1 thru a beautiful God orchestrated design that certainly left it’s fair share of marks and labor pains.

I am reminded of this hymn my dear friend created into artwork for our family.

“Abba Father”
Arise my soul, arise
Shake off they guilty fears;
The bleeding Sacrifice
In my behalf appears:
Before the throne my Surety stands,
My name is written on His hands.
He ever lives above,
For me to intercede;
His all-redeeming love,
His precious blood, to plead;
His blood atoned for all our race,
And sprinkles now the throne of grace.

Fie bleeding wounds he bears,
Received on Calvary;
They pour effectual prayers,
They strongly plead for me:
Forgive him, o forgive, they cry,
Nor let that ransomed sinner die.

The Father hears him pray,
His dear anointed One:
He cannot turn away
THe presence of his Son:
His Spirit answeres to the blood,
And tells me I am born of God.

My God is reconciled:
His pardoning voice I hear:
He owns me for His child;
I can no longer fear:
With confidence I now draw nigh,
And Father, ABba, Father, cry”

Oh dear Abba Father, thank you for these words.
Thank you for what it illustrates of my own condition, my own adoption.
Thank you that you did not let this ransomed sinner die.
Nor did you let that abandoned baby go.
You moved heavens and earth so that he could have a home.
You own me as your child, I have nothing to fear.
Just as Adam is now our son, he has nothing to fear.
For we will plead before your throne daily and you will continue the good work you began in him.

Blessed assurance!

This song speaks so much to what we feel regarding Adam.

LOVE STORY  (click here for song/video link)
lyrics here

Those words get me every time when I think of our year with Adam.

“I see your smile
And it’s so much sweeter 
After all that I’ve been through
And when we laugh
I get a glimpse of forever
And I praise God that I found you”

For we thought he would not ever smile with the extensive cleft surgery he had.
But he does smile.
We thought he may not laugh.
But he does laugh.
And it is all to His glory.
“Infinitely more than we could ever ask or imagine”…that’s what our Lord says He will do.

look at the smile

And these words:


And anytime someone asks me
How it all unfolded I’ll tell them
Such incredible chances
Make for marvelous love.

Surely incredible chances…or divine design…make for marvelous LOVE.

Adam, your life is a mirror that man looks into and can only see the amazing love of an Eternal Father.
A reflection of so much more than our frail bodies.

As he laughs, crawls, attempts to stand, and plays with his brother, we are overwhelmed at the hand of Abba in his little life.

We are humbled as we see our Lord take the foolish things of this world to shame us wise cracks in this world.
He is good and His mercy endureth forever.

not only given a mom and dad, but a precious brother and best bud;)

adam loves his pops

adam bundled up for a night time bike ride