WE: Unformed

Things as They Are: because it is how He did it

So.
I am now writing you from the couch.
The windows are open
The curtains are rising and falling with the breeze.

Chai is steaming
Boys are contentedly playing with one another
There are literally 40 monkeys outside 
They are bending bamboo stalks at angles I did not know possible
The bamboo breaking long, thin shadows between falling beams of light
Reflecting all sorts of glory and splendor on my bare feet on these tile floors
There are no foul odors piercing the atmosphere (anymore…)
And productivity reached a new level of success today

But, dear one, that is not what the hours of 6am to 3pm looked like
And that is surely not a regular day in India
(Peaceful) monkeys in trees, peaceful afternoons, and lovely fragrances are not a daily event of my life
Just as you, dear American friend, probably do not experience
Starbucks chats with a loved one, epic vacations, and home delivered Bar-b-que on a daily basis
And just as you, “luci”, my favorite Parisian reader;) do not experience
Steaming french loaves, drives thru the countryside, and Eiffel Towerglimpses each day
And my English friends do not sit upon the Cliffs of Dover each evening to behold the glory
That is just not daily reality for us, 
Us, earth dwellers and comrades in arms
Because, really Indiais more like this
source unknown

Or this…

Or this …

Because, dear ones, I know
We, if we are honest, live and love from trenches 
And life feels hard many days
And its not always photo worthy
And there is not always much to “write home about”
In each culture, difficulty and hardship may present differently
But it is surely present
Let me tell you how the beginning of our day here at the Raj Mahal went
Maybe a picture will capture it well?
there is no filter or editing to make this look romantic. it just isnt;) 

That is our bathroom floor
That is my empty chai cup
(Because, yes, that is where I sipped it down this morning)
And that is the bumbo chair in a shallow bucket
Are you getting the idea?
Not yet?
Well, Elliot has been loving introducing new foods to his diet
But the poor guy’s plumbing has been not as amiable
And he had 2.5 days of no flow
And I was anticipating a pretty intense explosion
Just being honest

And my friend, Melody, once referenced to her bumbo chair as the “poop inducing chair” for her kids
So I thought, “hey, why not put Elliot in the bumbo seat, 
in a bucket of warm water, 
and sit with him while it all comes to pass?”
And it did come to pass
Melody was right
I highly encourage such set ups
(There is much more I would like to say about Melody and encourage you to visit her online handmade shop
But I will save that for another post when I am not also referring to bowel movements…sorry Mel…)
So, yes
Let me just say that the morning was filled with bowel movements
From both boys
In anything BUT diapers
On bathroom floors
On bedroom floors
It was out of control
Smeared even on bald heads…
It was bad

After such a morning, I could only anticipate a gloomy shadow of smelly darkness in the hours ahead
Therefore, I was feeling pretty fragile for the day ahead
And it was not even 7 am, friends
Not even 7 am.
I was tired of cleaning
Especially tired of cleaning up poo
“Aren’t I worth something more than that?” my heart/mind/spirit questioned.
“Do I really have to clean up this mess?”
And again, that VOICE
That still, small VOICE
Reminding me of what Paul scribed in Philipians
Telling us, weary, and feeling low and frustrated with all the needs
We, who think we deserve MORE
Rebuking us, in a way
Pleading with us to have the SAME attitude as the Lamb
The Lamb who, though in very nature, the DIVINE
Considered Himself NOTHING
Took on the nature of a servant
(Not the nature of an owner, a boss, or a king)
But a servant
To serve those who would spit upon Him, deny Him, question Him, and murder Him
Eventually, giving Himself over to DEATH
For us
Taking the punishment we deserve
Imputing His own righteousness to us, cowardly and blind
Making us pure and true
Opening our eyes
And giving us His inheritance and His reward
This is our King
This is my Master
This is my Abba Father
My “Daddy”
I am called to have the same attitude as Him
And He stepped out of Glory Land
To deal with us
We, who offer our good deeds
As if they merit anything
As if they merit anything but the “filthy rags” that they are
They are filthy rags in His presence.
The prophet Isaiah, he told us so.
The attitude of this God, and also man
Who stepped into our midst, to become a servant
Who deals again with me, again and again
Me, who wants my right hand to know what my left hand does
Me, who is so quick to wander
Me, who thinks my good deeds warrant His God becoming man
Me, who denied Him and crucified Him
Me, whose “filthy rags” of good deeds can only be bleached clean
ONLY by the blood of One, Holy


If He, this God who became like a worldling to live among the worldlings that would kill Him
If He, then deemed my soul of enough value for Himself to be speared and nailed and taken from this world
So that perfect blood could make holy and clean and worthy
Me, this one who comes before a spotless throne boasting in my filthy rags
Again and again and again
Then HOW
HOW can I have anything but an attitude that seeks after One such as Him?
HOW can I look at my boys, His boys, who He has entrusted to me
And not even find JOY in cleaning up their sickness and nastiness…


If He removed the eternal taint and flaw of my soul
With His Holy, God-man blood
Then I MUST
I MUST
“Have an attitude like Him”
And as He “considered Himself nothing”
I must see each moment as a chance to “consider myself nothing”
And as “He humbled Himself”
I, too, must humble myself
And as He “became obedient”
I must become obedient


Not by work or my own will
By the precious gift of faith 
Which He LONGS to give us
If He instructs us to have His attitude, 
Don’t you think He will also equip us with all we need
To walk it out
In the trenches of our lives?


Dear ones, He was then “exalted…to the highest place”
But just verses before, He went low, as a servant, in obedience, to DEATH
But then, He was exalted
He went up
By going down
He met our world, from the beginning
In the scum and dust
Even from the start


Look at creation
He met us, first man and woman
In the dust that became creation
He could have created us as He created light, water, darkness, and the like
By just speaking them to
“Let there be light”


But, no.
Not for those created in His image.
He came down
He got in the dirt
He “formed man from the dust of the GROUND”
He, Holy One, who had just formed all creation by His voice
Saw us worthy to come down into the grime of earth
And formed us


Fast forward a bit…
He was then born on the earth, as a man
To pursue and ransom those earthlings He had come into the dust to create
The same earthlings who
Rejected and failed Holy again and again
Where did He collide, this God from Holy, above, with earth below?
In a castle?
A temple?
From a potion or a spell?
No.
He was birthed among us
By ONE OF US
Into a foul smelling stable of animals
And a few years later, when he was at the peak of His time on earth
He met that lady who had been labeled outcast because of her sin
And was set to be stoned
He again got down in the dirt
He created with His Holy, yet man, hands
Something in that dirt that spoke to the hearts of all
And He then said “let he who is without sin cast the first stone”
Dear ones, again and again
He meets us where we are
From creation in the dirt to
His birth as man in the dirt to
His loving of the broken in the dirt to
His last man- breath, on a cross, cruelly propped up IN DIRT
He is here in the midst of our dirt
To wash us completely and make us Holy
And He longs for us to embody that to the world
To our husbands and wives
To our children
To everyone we encounter
So as we find ourselves fulfilling petty, dirty, unappealing tasks
That we deem ourselves “better than”
We must turn our gaze


We must turn our worldling eyes upwards
To behold His glory
His glory that meets us in the filth
To take our “filthy rags”, wash them in the blood from His hands
And give them back as white as snow
And as you see what society labels the filth of this world
Trust that His blood can make them Holy and Pure again
Trust in that.
And don’t stop there


But then go…
Go into the dirt with them
Go into the dark places to them
Meet them where
HE MEETS US
Because He is with you
And He who considered Himself nothing and gave Himself over to death
Pleads with us to “have that same attitude”
Dear ones, nothing can trump that
No book on parenting or serving or internatinoal aiding or positive thinking
When you have the Living God embodying love thru denying Himself
And giving Himself up
To make us, guilty worldlings, free
When you have that attitude to see
And when He says He leaves His Spirit with you
“to do greater things than me”
Then what have you to fear?


Surely, not constipation and explosion of diapers can distress us any longer
Nor any broken child’s rejection of love offered again and again
Nor a stubborn patient rejecting medical advice
Or a spouse refusing love 
Or a debt that seems unshakeable
Nothing can shake us
Because He was without sin, yet became sin, to set us FREE
And if through that death, there is no condemnation…
(“Death where is your sting?”)
No matter how exhausted, we must love
Because He promises to love thru us, dear one
And when you don’t know how to Love, look to Him
And when you don’t know how to parent, look to Him
And when you don’t know how to serve, look to Him
And when you don’t know how to forgive, look to Him


His nail pierced hands
Bleed a sanctifying and purifying stream of freedom
And He longs for it to transform us
It has transformed me today
Even in the mundane “things as they are”
Let it transform you as well

Comments

  1. Love the comment about living and loving in the trenches, Jessica. Another beautiful post shining the light and giving the glory to the Savior and King, right where it belongs.
    You always inspire me to surrender a little more. Blessings.

  2. Thank you for writing. Reading this was very encouraging to me this morning as I lay on the couch with my sick son after a rough night. This is what He has called me to today and I will pray that i can find joy in it! Praying for you too:)