On the mend?

Dear ones
Thank you for your prayers that you never hold back.
Thank you for walking with us.

(I think) Adam is on the mend.
He is still weak and occasionally having reflux type responses to food
I think his stomach is just building itself back up.
Poor guy lost probably 2 lbs or more during these days
Raja has been working so hard on preparing feedings for him (he eats primarily thru g tube these days) and had fattened him up so well
So it seems like we go a few steps back with each step ahead

But at the moment, he is scooting backwards on his little bum across the floor to get his guitar
(This backwards scoot, which only Adam can do, due to the structure of his torso and legs has been likened to Michael Jackson’s moonwalk…I do hope YOU get to see it one day;) )
The guitar is perhaps his favorite toy
I love watching him maneuver and pick things up
I LOVE watching him hold instruments

One thing Raja and I want to be intentional about in raising these boys is filling their mind…
With thoughts of the Holy

Raja is really good about being intentional in this
I am really trying to be more intentional about it
With my words towards them and around them
With the music and Word I fill our house with throughout our days

Lately that has meant these lullabies

I love the WORD that is spoken throughout these songs
We want to always remind Adam that he is “fearfully and wonderfully made”
We want to drown him in words of love and truth that he is beautiful and designed as is, for a purpose
And that video has really been significant for me lately

This has been one of the toughest episodes of sickness, I believe
Maybe because we were so tired from travel and our sickness…
But it also really affected my heart (Jess’) a lot
I was feeling incredibly discouraged these past few days.
I could not see the other side and I could not see how
“all things come together for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purpose”
I was gloomy and discouraged and overwhelmed.
It is so hard to see your own suffer

         
(Someone told me that perhaps it is easier because Adam is adopted…
If it was my birth child, it would be different.
That is so far from the truth, dear ones.
Adam and Elliot both are treasures in my heart
They are both my sons who I delight in beyond measure
To see either of them suffer physically nearly does me in)

One morning I was really wrestling with Abba Father about this
I was beside myself with frustration and doubt
He reminded me of that passage I recently wrote you all about
Psalm 84
I remembered those words
“Blessed are those whose strength is in YOU
Who have set their hearts on PILGRIMAGE…
As they pass through the Valley of Baca
They make it a place of SPRINGS”
Maybe I will share more on this later
But dear ones, I was stuck in the valley
The valley was bitter and dark and gloomy

 And I was wallowing in it
In fact, I set up camp in that bitter valley
I wrote home about it
Maybe, I was even satisfied in that bitter valley
Not wanting to move
His Spirit graciously brought me out

                           

I pray this bout of sickness and discouragement prepares me for the next time it comes
I pray next time, I will trust and allow His Water to come forth and fill the valley of bitterness with Himself
So that springs can appear in the valley
That is what I long for
Streams to come forth from me and my family’s life in the midst of beauty and pain

Until then, I will set my strength in Him, in this moment
Despite rather the stability and health be momentary or permanent
I choose to see Him
And I choose to believe He is good