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this is not the end

May 12, 2013

I am listening to this lovely arrangement of divine words and dreaminess (is that a word?) this morning.

Between replays, my ears rejoice on the sound of my two boys laughing.
Each boys’ laughter is a miracle in itself.
Elliot’s is deep-belly rooted and makes my heart leap with laughter as well.
He is full of joy and it melts me.

Adam’s laugh is the gasping for air type
When something really tickles him, he laughs like I do..
He gasps so deeply in laughter that he loses his breath and shakes
These two deep dimples form on each side
And it takes my breath away

Remember Adam’s first laugh?
Click here, scroll down to the bottom of the blog post and enjoy;)
Oh my, enjoy;)

We are packed and a bit shocked at how smoothly it has gone.
We have suitcases packed
We have 1 less suitcase than allowed (a massive change from last year…when we checked 8 and a team later brought 7 more…all medical supplies…mind you).
And not only that, but they are packed 24 hours before departure.
And they are all underweight.
Tootin our own horn here, we are.

And to top it off it has been overcast for 2 days.
The clouds have overtaken the relentless heat that had been present the past few weeks, keeping us sweating until 2 am each night
So we have cool, rainy breezes to comfort us as we pack and keep our boys happy and not sweaty.
So it is good and we are thankful.
So now, we shall go consume the last of our food in the pantry and watch some Sherlock Holmes (yes the new show that I didnt realize EVERYone knew about…but our sweet canadian friend, Renee, was kind enough to fill us in, give us a few seasons, and not shame us with how behind we are).

Oh yes, and we return to the US this week.
I wish I could personally let EACH of you know.
But that is not really possible.
So can you pretend with me a bit.
Imagine I am sitting with you this moment, pouring you a steaming cup of spicy chai and sharing some homemade chocolate cake.
I proceed to fill you in on all the details of my little heart from these past few weeks. Weeks of preparation, fighting sickness, praying for wisdom on how to care for Adam, praying for wisdom on when to leave, and getting details finalize on the homefront so we can leave smoothly.
I may cry a bit.
But mostly laugh.

Because He is a good Father
and He cares for each detail
of our little heart
and our little family’s little journey
on this beautiful earth
balancing perfectly
in the weight of eternity.

And this is not the end.
As I wrote last week,
our hearts are called to be set on the pilgrimage.
Walking from “strength to strength” until we appear before HIM in Zion.
Take heart, dear one
We are not expected to walk in one long stretch of ease, with a strength that never seems weakened.
Each day is a new moment to call upon the One who alone can supply us with the strength we need.
You are not expected to just “pull up your bootstraps” and walk on.
He alone can take our burdens and equip us with the strength to make it to Zion.
Do not set roots here on earth
Set them deep in the River that flows from His Temple
He will satisfy every thirst and every need that will ever meet you.
Walk on, pilgrim one
The journey is uncertain and at times terrifying
But He knows how to supply us with water even from a Rock in the desert, dry

From Gungor, who says it better (in the first link I left you with)

This is not the end of this
We will open our eyes wide, wider

This is not our last
This is not our last breath
We will open our mouths wide, wider

And you know you’ll be alright
Oh and you know you’ll be alright

This is not the end
This is not the end of us
We will shine like the stars bright, brighter
Adam’s surgeries are set to start mid-late June
We pray these few weeks prior to that can really serve to let Adam rest, gain weight and strength, and be prepared for surgeries well.
Your prayers are appreciated;)
So, as we prepare to leave this Eastern land…
A few sights I shall miss for these months abroad
But, though I shall miss them,
I surely cannot wait to meet beloved ones and spend lots of quality time 
We are also excited to have some restful time as a family
So here are a few things I shall miss…
these sunsets
roadside chai. a personal favorite
the expected glitz and glam and bedazzled look of every day village women

rickshaw rides. sometimes i feel as though i see thru an antique lens in india. everything seems this tint sometimes

this amazing lady

mornings like this

night walks and explorations

this comfy porch room

bike rides beneath flags with mountains in the distance

wedding parades…and yes those are chandeliers on top of heads…they made a walking ballroom!

train stations

colorful trains

i love this

this captures so much of life in India…and i will miss it;)

And for anyone who didn’t notice anything about this picture from the last post…look again
Anything C-R-A-zy?

So Elliot has an obsession with anything medical of Adam’s..especially suction catheters from his suction machine and his feeding tube. We try to detach it from Adam between feedings so Elliot doesn’t grab it. But I caught this last week on a day I did not detach it…Elliot is holding the other side of the tube (where you insert food) in his mouth…you can use your imagination to how gross that COULD have been;) haha. But fortunately, the tube is locked and nothing could have been taken back. haha. I just had to explain this photo. Maybe only medical professionals will find it enjoyable and not nauseating…

Filed Under: Life at the Raj Mahal

Comments

  1. Sarah Swartz says

    May 12, 2013 at 7:45 pm

    I resonate with those post so much! I am heading back to the states in 6 weeks, after being in India for almost a year. It is tough preparing to say good-bye, but it is necessary and good. Your pictures are so beautiful and capture so much of what I love about India. Thanks so much for opening your heart and your world to others in the blogging realm and beyond. You are a precious sister! Blessings.

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Wife to a shrink from the East.
Momma to 3 wild boys.
Nurse. Nomad. Friend.
Learning to live broken, yet brave.

Adam is a shadow chaser, high five giver, explorer, & overcomer. He joined our family thru adoption and has taught us a new way to see ever since. His unformed body revealed my unformed heart.
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My husband is a shrink turned seminarian who keeps me honest and laughing every day. We have 3 sons. We speak multiple languages but not clearly and we like dance parties but lack rhythm.
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