“Let us Break Bread together ON OUR KNEES”

Cool mists are sweeping thru these mountainous regions and the chill is invigorating.
While I sip on this chicken and potato spicy soup goodness, that song plays on.
It is a song that I have been playing on repeat since Sunday.
Because on Sunday morning I was despondent.
No reason, specifically.
Just despondent and questioning His ways.
Questioning the paradoxical Truth that He is
And the paradoxical means in which He redeems His people.
The paradoxical ways in which He rescues nations.

I was questioning when my boy will eat and speak, despite having written THIS just a few days before;)
So many comments every day as I walk with him on my back, on my hip, in the stroller.
So many stares
It can be overwhelming
So, there I was, lying in bed.
Despite glory beams streaming in and piercing the stifling closed room air
I ignored those beams for a good while
I griped and I groaned
But I did not behold Him

It was Sunday morning, even.
Sunday, that day when we are to really take our minds off the worries of this world
When we are to seek Him and rest in Him, without distraction
Because “week days are worldly days,
And secular concerns reduce heavenly impressions” as the Puritans wrote.
So there I was, on this Sunday that is to be impressed with Heaven
Yet moaning was all I could do
Griping to my husband, faithful
Questioning God’s ways, on His day, Holy

Then that song rode in on noise waves of mercy
Streamed thru my heart and soul
It was one I remember singing by my mom and dad in childhood days
Before I knew that knees bowed and broken bread
Were much more than lyrics in a song
Bowed knees were more than religious ritual and tradition
Broken bread was more than a rite of religious passage

“Let us break bread together on our knees
When I fall on my knees with my face to the rising Sun (Son)*
Oh, Lord, have mercy on me”

“Let us drink wine together on our knees
When I fall on my knees with my face to the rising Sun (Son)*
Oh, Lord, have mercy on me”

“Let us praise God together on our knees
When I fall on my knees with my face to the rising Sun (Son)*
Oh, Lord, have mercy on me”

*denotes change made by me;)

Perhaps my current favorite version is HERE
Have a listen;)

So those tunes were streaming thru
And He, above, pierced my heart

He brought me to my knees
Not because it was Sunday morning and it is a good thing to do
But because when knees are bowed, we are acknowledging submission
We are quieting our moaning and kneeling before something greater
With bloodied knees, we behold something greater than ourselves
We are tired and weary and we are giving up fighting our own battle
We stop the questioning and listen

Despondency is defeated when knees are bowed

We stop seeking worldly comforts
And bow to the God of all comforts

I break bread with Him
Because that is my Hope
His bread is living and the bread of this world is failing
The bread that I wonder whether it will ever pass my son’s lips, willingly
Is not eternal
It is good and something positive to hope for for Adam
But it it not Life in its fullest form
He is Life in it’s fullest form
He, eternal, is what I long for most for my son

By breaking bread with Him
And eating of the flesh He offered freely
From a body, Holy
He offers healing and mercy and redeeming blood
To bodies, unformed and full of sin on this earth

By breaking bread with Him
I remember that last supper
That was really the first supper
That last supper when He broke with his beloved ones
And when they saw the cosmic shift that was about to occur
They had a foreshadowing glimpse of the Bread that was about to be offered
To bring life to mankind

I remember the paradox that the Last, but First, Supper was
It was the Last Supper for Him
Before He arose as the Lamb to take away the sins of the world

It was the first supper of true HOPE for mankind
As the God man showed what He was willing to give

I stay on my knees as I think over these words
As I think on how I was so quick to question this God man
Who gave His very life
I think on how I can belly ache over food not eaten by my son

When the truth is, it is a miracle that he even has a mouth that has a potential to eat
At one point, that was all I could think about
“Will he have a mouth?”
I moaned and questioned.
Now he has a mouth.
And now I question if he will eat

adam, elliot, and finjane!

I simply cannot keep on in his belly aching fashion
He tells me that as I am to break bread together on my knees
“Oh, Lord, have mercy on me”
Keep my on my knees
Bloodied or not, let me not forget your bleeding side
Let me not forget Who is on the Throne
Let me not forget that you and your blood are a balm to the nations
And to my family and me
Let us not seek balms of pleasure in this world

And then I think that maybe living on my knees
Is, in fact, a better angle
Maybe all of my life should be lived on my knees

Maybe I should start and end each day on my knees
Because it shows surrender and submission

It takes whatever may threaten to lead us to grumbling
It takes whatever may lead us to question Him
It takes us from trying to reach higher
And it takes us lower
Because are meant to get low
Then we see, that when we are lower, we are actually HIGHER

As we lift up our heads to Him who gave Himself for us
And if He gave us HIMSELF, how will He not also graciously give us ALL THINGS?
That is what Paul told us in his letter to Rome
And if our knees get bloodied and calloused, maybe it is for our good
Because the stains remind us of the blood spilt on our behalf

And then the whole picture comes into view
Then it makes sense
The song, my Adam, my questions towards Him

Because I have this son
Who lives life on his knees
And I pity him and try to figure out ways to get him off of his knees
But perhaps, he is actually the one on Higher Ground

Because if we are to be a servant of all
If we are to see others better than ourselves
If we are to break bread together on our knees,
Then perhaps Adam already has a head start
Perhaps he does not spend all of his time trying to get off of his knees
In fact, I know he does not

He does not know what life is like off of his knees
It is all he has known

And perhaps he actually is on Higher ground
Perhaps instead of pitying him
I should thank God for him
And I should try to be more like him

Because if I stay on my knees,
I am constantly in a place of submitting and bowing in worship

If I stay on my knees,
I can always consider others better than myself

If I stay on my knees,
There are always going to be feet to wash and people to serve

I should not care about man and his opinion
I should not crave comforts of the world
I should fix my heart and mind on things eternal
I should celebrate what is here, now

Just as Adam laughs with joy at a ride in a swing
Just as he celebrates when he can lift up just a little bit higher to get a book off the shelf

Perhaps instead of wanting more
I should break bread and live life on my knees

I should worship and wash feet
Because He broke bread and washed me

Thank You, Father, for a son who lives life on his knees
A forever example to me of the position I should have before you

adam’s first painting!