“chart and compass come from Thee, Savior pilot me”

Update on appts:

We met with ophthalmology, plastic surgery, and pediatric surgery on Tuesday. A day full of pretty good reports;)

Cornea’s look well, eyelid may need a revision in February, skin above eyes has healed well, and feeding tube was replaced in Adam’s stomach.

Thank you so much for your prayers.

Plans still remain for surgery next Wed, Jan 11th

view at sunset from the front of our old house

I (Jessica) have been reflective lately and was reading back thru the first few days we had Adam. I wrote this early one morning in September. It was Adam’s 4th day of life. We were preparing to move and had packed up most of the house. But we “redid” a room in the house for Adam, prepared a crib, cleaned, and decorated what we could.

It was the same place where I had spent times with the Lord in days past. The 2 doors at the end of the bed open up to the front porch and past the front porch are beautiful large pink flowers, and trees speckle the foreground of a beautiful mountain landscape.

a few of those beautiful pink flowers that i could watch each morning from that place on Adam’s floor

It was pretty glorious.

I remember I had Adam’s little body pictured within me, my heart aflame with His Spirit, my mind full of all Raja and I had been studying thru in Romans.

I remember I was wondering what this was going to look like.

Our future filled with this little one we had named Adam.

I imagined the impossibilities that lingered in the distance of my mind.

Wondering how such impossibilities would be made possible.

But then my wonders are set upon Him…the Maker of the moon, who paints the stars across the sky’s expanse.

Or as Job says “the One who laid the earth’s foundations”

And He is the same as

“the One who gives order to the morning…and journeys to the springs of the deep”

sunset a few years ago in english countryside with manda and our dear friend, Maria

the same who made, THOUGH HE WAS THE DIVINE, THE WAY, TRUTH, and LIFE

made Himself NOTHING, taking the form of a servant and became obedient to death…on a cross”

And He is the same as

the One who ascended into the heavenly places

But who will one day come again to make all things new

Who will wipe away every tear

And make a new Heaven and earth.

That is who He is

That is who adopted me as His child, though once orphaned.

That is the One who asked us to take this journey of faith

That is the One who sustained Adam’s life in the womb and brought him forth alive and wiggling

That is the One who can make impossible, possible

And He is the One I bowed to that morning

And elder brother, AW Tozer, didnt he say this…

“God is looking for people through whom He can do the impossible.

What a pity when we plan only the things we can do by ourselves.” -A.W. Tozer

Lord, save me from planning humanly possible tasks.

I want to plan for tasks only possible thru Holy dependence

So here is what I wrote

Excerpt from my journal that morning                                                                                     09.23.2011
“So, I think I am a mom. To a boy…in just a few days. Jesus, Savior, pilot me. Unknown waves before me blow…Chart and compass come from Thee. Savior, pilot me”

The last few words are from a favorite hymn of mine (written in the late 1800’s).

It also reads: “hiding rock and treacherous shore

Unknown waves and hiding rocks, to me then, have now passed

Waves of fear, disbelief, incredible need, possible fatal diagnosis, changes in plans

They have passed now.

And I survived.

Because chart and compass come from my Abba Father, the Author and Finisher of my faith.

The last stanza of the hymn reads:

When at last I near the shore,
And the fearful breakers roar
‘Twixt me and the peaceful rest,
Then, while leaning on Thy breast,
May I hear Thee say to me,
“Fear not, I will pilot thee.”
(link to this beautiful song)  http://youtu.be/EehdzN5lVh8


I love this picture. 


Of us nearing the shore where battles and earthly journeys cease

And we meet our Creator and know Him deeper and truer than ever before


And as we lean on Him He reminds me, yet again “Fear not, I will pilot thee”


Oh how thankful I am.


That I have nothing to fear, for He goes before and behind and has ordained each step along the way


I read the other day that it says “fear not” or “do not fear” 366 times throughout His Word (ann voskamp)


That is enough for each day of the years, plus 1.


That many times, we are told not to fear.


Because our Father, He knows us.


He knows we are just like Peter.


We like to think we have the courage, the strength, the faith.


But no, for He has to equip us each step of the way.


And as I reflect on these past nearly 4 months, He has piloted me.


His chart and His compass alone.


On New Year’s day, Raja and I went to the beach for some time to discuss and share about the new year

(dear memaw watched Adam so we could do so…;)

I had my Valley of Vision nearby and etched this into my journal, not long after those words etched in 9/23

“I launch my bark on the unknown waters of this year,

with Thee, o Father, as my harbor,

Thee, O Son, at my helm

Thee, O Holy Spirit, filling my sails

Guide me to Heaven with my loins girt

my lamp burning, my ears open to Thy call…”

Surely there are unknown waters, waves, and treacherous shores ahead.

But surely, He will be with us each step of the way.

So rest, my soul, for He is on my side

That is what I end tonight with

And this glorious picture of Adam enjoying Christmas lights

It appears as if he is giving glory to the Giver of all good things.

I love that little boy

Some other favorite shots, these of New Years:

Dad saved some fireworks for me and Raja to enjoy at midnight.

So dad (papa to Adam…) held Adam as we did some fireworks and sparklers

I love these photos where we are more enjoying Adam’s expressions than the sparklers themselves! (these 2 pictures were taken nearly simultaneously)

Happy New Year our baby boy!