Just in Case

Just in case you read THIS POST from yesterday.
And in case you followed THIS LINK that told you
We are starting again…with the end goal of $150,000
Before my baby boy can get his cleft palate repaired as well as 2 other surgeries…

Just in case you were overwhelmed for me and Adam and our family…
Just in case you are thinking…”really, Jess, you think you can get all that money again?!”
Just in case you are wondering if I am nervous also…
Just in case you are wondering if I feel as though I have exhausted my resources…

Your wonderings are true.

For my knees are downright shaking
And my hands at times tremble when I crack His Word open
And when my hands go to scribe my thoughts, fears, heart cries, and prayers
And when I look at that number again and again.

I am overwhelmed and tempted to be wrought with angst
But He says “do not be anxious about ANYthing…in everything by prayer and petition…give THANKS” to HIM.
So I ask Him to steady my trembling hands
To wipe the tears of doubt
And to sturdy my shakin knees
And I thank Him
For what He has given me today
For my family, for my dad’s visit, for the sun out bright to dry our endless piles of laundry, for new friendships, for baby’s chuckles
I thank Him
For His provision the first time around

I am asking myself the same thing, “really JESS…you think you can get all that money again?
And I forget that He set planets in motion
That He clothes the birds of the air
That He says flesh…it is like the grass of the field…here today and gone tomorrow
And what am I raising money for?
My son’s FLESH to be repaired
And there is something SO MUCH more to Adam than his flesh.
Don’t get me wrong…
(It is beautiful that his outer being is being reconstructed and that it is being restored in many ways here on earth)

But OH! to imagine all the eternal restoration in this little family’s heart thru his fleshly lackings…and then repairs

And OH! to remember all the countless people who have shared how my little boy’s life has wrecked their own and pointed them to Eternal Glory that far outweighs all things on this earth

SO.

THEREFORE.

If flesh needs to be repaired…
Flesh that is here today.
But GONE tomorrow.
Like grass.
Then why on earth do I wonder if the Designer of the universe and the Giver of Salvation…will provide money for such a small, temporary things as flesh, in His grand design?

The Maker of THIS glory…is the Giver of Life…and I WILL trust Him

I am nervous
But HE steadies me
And His blood washes away my doubt again each and every day

So thankful that this boy, once motherless, now is safely on the back of a momma who loves him more than he can imagine…and that we can behold such Holy Glory together…

                                         

And the thought comes…that I have exhausted my resources
And like thunderclaps from Heaven, within my soul, He reminds me
“I AM”
He is my Resource
We, mankind, are merely His vessels
So instead of my writhing in embaressment at all the pleas
I remember to come before His throne above
And to trust that He is good and He is loving and His provision is LIMITLESS

And if this picture ministers to your aching heart like it does mine…Behold! Adam , once seen as a curse and unloved…is in the arms of loving earthly Father…beholding the setting sun from a loving Abba Father. That is faithfulness

                                             
So dear ones,
Join me
In remembering that He is good.
And that He is the Author of Life
And that if clothes grass of the field, here today and gone tomorrow,
HOW MUCH MORE will He clothe you and me?
And if He cared last year to raise so much to get my baby’s flesh repaired…
Flesh that is “here today and gone tomorrow”…
Why do we fear that He will do it again?

For “He who began a good work in you is faithful to bring it to completion”
And “The ONE who called you is faithful, He will do it”