WE: Unformed

Just in case you thought I knew what I was doing….

I have absolutely no idea. Just in case you thought I must be real special or called or compassionate in order to raise a boy like Adam… I am not. Just in case you thought that because Raja is a doctor and I am a nurse, that we know what to do when Adam is […]

On Mothers and Mother’s Day

The longer I am on this journey of motherhood, the harder it becomes. Just sayin. I became a mom nearly 4 years ago. I had been married for 6 months at the tender age of 24. It was an unexpected beginning. There were not 9 months, stretch marks, or those awful leg cramps in the […]

I want to be writing: but…

After I finished nursing school I went on a dream of a Europe backpacking trip adventure. I went alongside two of my dear nursing school buddies. We bought a ticket into Paris, France and out of Athens, Greece. Our only mission: get from Paris to Athens in 5 weeks.   Friends, it was grand. We arrived […]

Adam health update

“As your prime minister, I urge you with caution”-William Pitt ” and as my friend?”-William Wilberforce “To hell with caution…”-William Pitt If you don’t know the story of Wilberforce and Pitt…stop now and find out. Wilberforce was strategic in getting the British parliament to end British involvement in the slave trade.  Pitt was a best […]

Handprints and Comfort.

This is, perhaps, one of my very favorite pictures. It captures my life in this season so well. There are holes in pants, stitched just for Adam, that need to be patched. Those holes speak of his ability to crawl…which surpasses the understanding of all who meet him for the first time. Those vibrant colors […]

Ostomy bags on a Sunday Morning

I once wrote here, regarding my being grafted in to the community of families of children with disabilities or special needs that “now I realize the glory within (this community) and I never want out” But sometimes, I do.Sometimes, I do want out of the inconveniences and the research, medical bills, and uncertainty.I want out […]

Three Years since THAT Thanksgiving

I remember THAT Thanksgiving quite vividly. Perhaps some of you, who have been on this journey since the beginning, can too? I will recount a bit of it for you: September 18, 2011 Adam was born. <insert 2 months of foster parent status-adoption finalized-diagnosis made-prognosis of 2 months given-doctors in US commit to having services […]

On Writing and Bicycles

So it seems that nearly 6 weeks have passed since we moved home, from our home in India. To be honest, it feels like a year in many ways considering all that has been packed into these 6 weeks. My parents were gracious enough to host us for the first 3 weeks as we navigated […]

India to America

“BECA– USE WHEN SEEN IN THE LIGHT OF HEAVEN’S GLORY, EVEN THE MOST BROKEN OF BODIES IS BEAUTIFUL” So another gap of time has passed since I last wrote. In that time, we have packed up our entire lives in India and traveled 30 hours (with three boys under 3 years old) back to Florida.  […]

Regarding San Francisco Globe, Donations, and Such;)

Sometimes, Abba God amazes us in the ways He continues to use Adam and his precious life around this world of ours. The San Francisco Globe recently ran the story of Adam that was done by CBN last year. The link to the SFG article, run yesterday, can be found here Adam’s life astounds us daily…this […]

In Which I Remember I am a Pilgrim

June 2006 marked the advent of my life in India. What began as simply a 3 month trip to volunteer has stretched into years of a life wrecked, rebuilt, andultimately transformed.  The years have rendered beauty, divinity, and redemption in the last ways I dreamed to see such things. These days stretched into months and […]

Finally that Birthing Story

So let’s be honest. I thought I would have written this weeks ago. But, alas, these past 6 weeks seem like a fog in this ever shrinking galaxy that I like to call my mind. Last pregnant picture…at a little bday party friends threw for me here. I’d like to say that I am in […]

This Paradoxical God

When I first came to India, I was full of ideas and dreams.  These dreams included a lot of me, a tinge of adventure, visions of dozens being rescued and redeemed, and a good God writing a sweet story with many happy endings. I knew I followed a God who redeems, I knew I had […]

This is motherhood (too)

this is motherhood {too}: a *very* special needs adoption journey July 15, 2014 by This is Motherhood Too  By Jessica Paulraj In September 2014, we will celebrate our oldest son’s 3rd birthday. His name is Adam and from what medicine and logic predicted, he was not supposed to live past 2 months.  Three years? How quickly they seem to have passed […]

And We’re BACK;)

Alright dear ones…I took an unannounced hiatus from this little blip on the screen of cyberspace.  I did it for two reasons. Reason 1: I am still learning how to pray. I have written a few entries now on “Teach Us How to Pray”, however, in many ways I did not feel as though I was […]

Prayers to guide us in praying for those that SEEM forgotten (because they’re not)

This is the 3rd in that “series”, of sorts, “Lord Teach us to Pray” ___________________________________________________________ The streets here seem to palpate with hardship and need at times.  The colors may be vibrant and the spices and bedazzled saris may tinge the streets with a romantic splendor that briefly distracts the gaze from the disabled beggar […]

Gusts of Glory

  We were sitting outside for our church service last week and Elliot was rummaging in the yard(Typically, he makes it thru worship then we play outside during sermon hour)He was running, full force, towards the grassy knoll surrounded by mountain glory…Then he stopped.Right in his tracks, he stopped.It took me a second to notice […]

In the name of LOVE; mental health and that time in London

So I once had this amazing opportunity to study in London.It was for a Diploma in Tropical Nursing at the London School of Hygiene and Tropical Medicine (yes.yes. the same school referenced in the last Call the Midwife episode…no big deal… hehe)That season in England was one I will treasure for many years. I was […]

MIA as we fled to the mountains

The blog is on a bit of a lull these days…About 2 weeks ago Adam’s health started deteriorating, specifically his skin.The heat swept thru our region of India and brought it’s two comrades, dust and brutality, with it.Those three comrades (heat, dust, and brutality) do not treat our Adam well…And his skin started going all […]

On Writing and All Hell Breaking Loose

First of all, thank you to all who went out to Downtown Jacksonville’s One Spark FestivalThe artist, Scott Morphew, who featured a piece for Adam placed 26th out of over 600 entries.That is pretty amazing _________________________________________________________________ So, honesty, it is a good policy. That is what they say;)And I have come to treasure transparency and […]